Waiting is The Worst…

When Kai was a month old my husband had stripped him down and was taking him in for a bath when I noticed another hole above his butt. Being a new Mom, I start inspecting it and freaking out, I thought my child had 2 buttholes. 

Hilarious now as I tell it, but then oh I was so freaking out.

 I took a picture and sent it to his chiropractor. She said it looks like a sacral dimple and to mention it to his pediatrician. Thankfully, this was a Wednesday and Friday he was seeing his doctor! His pediatrician decided to send him for an ultrasound to make sure his spinal cord was okay. Kai’s didn’t look very big but sometimes they can be an indication the spinal cord is tethering. 

New Mom, I am freaked the F out! And the waiting game until the appointment. I do not know what to do with myself.

So the day of the appointment and I could barf, I am just hoping he does okay during it. He started to get a little upset so they let me nurse him and he was able to get through it. This is where, being freaked out went to a whole new level that there is no book for.

The ultrasound tech looks at me and says “does he have a kidney issue?”

My heart dropped, I blank stared at my husband and then replied, No why what do you see. ” Oh I’ll mark it as an incidental finding and your pediatrician will contact you” She can’t be serious. 

And then it came, that mother bear they say is inside you. I was not leaving until a radiologist looked at whatever she is seeing and tells me what the F is going on, and you best believe I was not calm. So after some time, the radiologist informed us he had a blockage and his Kidney was enlarged, but that’s all he could say, we would need to be referred to a pediatric urologist. 

The only thing I remember after that is switching from fear and panic to holding it together, because my husband was a wreck. He’s not an angry person by any means, he was angry at the world at that moment scared to death something was wrong with his baby boy. I couldn’t make him feel better, I couldn’t comfort him, and this was something new for me, for us. I didn’t know what to do or say to help him. 

I immediately got on the phone with the pediatrician to get a consult and I had worked In the OR with the pediatric urologist so we were able to get in rather quickly. Unfortunately, it wasn’t before I typed “swollen kidney” “blockage” “newborn” into google and we all know where that leads. The absolute worst thing you can do and I was just mortified, I stressed myself out so bad. 

Fast forward to his appointment, he wound up having an extremely narrow ureter going. To his kidney which was causing pee to back up and swell his kidney. The doctor explained that he could it could either grow with him and not be so narrow or he would need a stent in the future. It wasn’t anything to serious at the moment and we would follow up with ultrasound every 6months.

 After a few ultrasounds, it hadn’t improved nor had it gotten worse. At this point we needed to make sure the current swelling wasn’t causing damage so he would need to have a nuclear med test done. 

We could wait or we could do it at the time, he was about 1.5 then. The doctor suggested do it then because he would be easier to get to hold still. Boy was he right I could not imagine doing it right now with how wild he is. That nuclear med test though, was still torture. We didn’t tell anybody when it was happening, I couldn’t deal with the questions or the tests. The whole thing sucked, from the IV to keeping him occupied and laying flat for over an hour, it was torture. 

I was so happy when it was over and even happier when the doctor called us to tell us, his kidneys were functioning normally. 

We are at the point now that although it’s still narrow, he doesn’t need the ultrasounds, he can verbalize if he is in pain and that will tell us if something is wrong. 

Nothing can prepare for these obstacles that come up when it comes to your children, it’s emotionally and mentally draining. That was such a minor health scare we had, my heart breaks for those people who deal with so much worse on a regular basis. We are very lucky that everything turned out to be fine! It makes you realize that being healthy is all that really matters! 

*******I wrote this blog a while back, but never published it. Since we have moved and had to change Pediatricians, she wanted a follow up Ultrasound.

I was calm cool collective going into it. Everything is fine it was getting better before now, so it’s probably fixed. 

Well Kai had to have a full bladder and he didn’t. So we sat there trying to get him to jug some water. They handed me 3 full cups, hahah he’s 3 really. And he’s not 💯 potty trained. Well, me thinking everything was fine said he’s not gonna be able to get all that down.

She kindly looked at me and said, I can’t give any results, just look here at the difference, you want to be able to get this test complete. It could totally be the same as it as always been, however Mind F*ckery is a serious thing, putting me into an emotional spiral.

Well I’m no tech but I can see a prominent difference. Ugh my heart sank, and so we ran to Dunkin Donuts to get some juice and chill for a second so he could complete the test. A few hours later, he was a trooper during it all, we were able to get the test completed. 

Now we wait…

Waiting sucks….

I’ll keep you all posted! Positive Vibes. I am sure everything is completely fine as it has always been, its just always a scary thought when something could be wrong…

Xoxox

Casey